Your Diet Doesn’t Need More Discipline

Jul 8

It's one of the most common things I hear from new clients, and it's usually said with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.

"I just need to be more disciplined."

They've had a rough week. Progress has stalled. Old habits crept back in. And when I ask them what they think the solution is, the answer is almost always the same call for discipline, to just get it together, to have more willpower.

I get why that feels like the right answer.

Why "Just Be More Disciplined" Backfires

Discipline sounds like ownership. It sounds like grit! It sounds like exactly the kind of thing a serious person who wants serious results should have more of.

But after years of coaching I’ve observed that telling yourself to just be more disciplined can actually be what's keeping you stuck.

Thinking we need more discipline keeps us focused on trying harder rather than addressing the underlying obstacles that are making things hard in the first place.

Those obstacles are real. Your willpower is being depleted by the friction in your environment, your energy levels at the end of a long day, stress, poor sleep, and the hundred small decisions you make daily that have nothing to do with nutrition. Those things don't go away just because you decide to buckle down, and relying on willpower alone as your primary nutrition strategy is setting you up for failure.

A Relatable Example: Emotional Eating

Here's a super common scenario:

You've had a hard day at work. You're driving home, you're hungry, you're stressed, and a cheeseburger and a shake sounds really good. The drive-through is right there. It would be so easy.

But you say no. You white-knuckle it past the fast food entrance and drive home. That felt like discipline, right?

However, the stress didn't go away. The hunger didn't go away. You just relocated the problem. Now you're home, still hungry, still stressed, and you haven't addressed either underlying issue. So you wander into the pantry and eat a sleeve of cookies, because at that point your willpower is completely spent.

Discipline wasn’t the problem in this scenario. Rather the lack of alternative solutions to real valid obstacles was the problem.

What to Do Instead of Relying on Discipline

In my coaching experience, what actually helps clients is to have them use their limited willpower resources to think ahead and take two simple steps:

Step 1: Name the Obstacle. Identify obstacles before they inevitably encounter them

Step 2: Brainstorm a Goal-Aligned Solution. Build a plan with options aligned with their nutrition goals (things that help them address underlying issues, like hunger and stress)

This is a better application of discipline that delivers more sustainable results than a “Just say No,” D.A.R.E.-style approach from our school days.

Going back to the drive-through example:

Step 1: Name the Obstacle

You’re stressed, hungry, driving home, and you need some easy calories. What could you do that relieves your stress and hunger AND aligns with your nutrition goals?

Step 2: Brainstorm a Goal-Aligned Solution

What about something like a burrito bowl from a fast casual restaurant? A burrito bowl can be built around a protein source (chicken, beans), fiber (beans, fajita veggies), and whole foods that will provide the macronutrients and micronutrients that align with your goals. It is an easy option that lowers your stress, rather than increasing it (and doesn’t leave you having to cook or do dishes once you get home).

Build a Plan That Doesn’t Rely on Willpower

Here is a framework to create a plan that relies on preparation rather than willpower. Think through the following:

Where are you repeatedly running into the same obstacle?
How is this obstacle affecting your goals?
What solutions could work with your goals instead of against them?

Start with just one obstacle, apply this framework, and see if it helps!

You Probably Have More Discipline Than You Think

Here's what I really want you to take away from this: Most of the clients who come to me saying they need more discipline are actually pretty disciplined people. They show up to work every day. They take care of their responsibilities. They follow through on commitments. They have goals and care about those goals enough to work with a coach!

The problem isn't that they lack discipline. The problem is they've been using it to “just say no” rather than building solutions that align with their goals. As a millennial, I blame D.A.R.E. for this mindset (D.A.R.E., for the uninitiated, was a school program that taught us to just say no to drugs and somehow that became our default approach to nutrition too.) but, like many other things we’re deconstructing in our millennial middle age, this is one more old approach we can let go of.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking "I just need to be more disciplined," try asking instead: "What obstacle am I not solving for yet?"

Ready to stop white knuckling it?

We believe that the best way to achieve your fat loss goals is working with a coach who creates a strategy specific to you - your needs, your preferences, your goals, and your lifestyle. Together we build the long-term nutrition habits that will support you for life. Find out more about our personalized approach.